


Laika died within hours from overheating.

by go_bruins



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Other, Retcon Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-01-25 09:51:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21354331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/go_bruins/pseuds/go_bruins
Summary: The vastness of space. The ticking of the clock. A lifetime of isolation. Jade Harley speaks to the universe. And the universe does not listen.
Relationships: Jade Harley - Relationship, Jade Harley/Isolation
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	1. In which Jade contemplates her fate (Year 1)

JADE: you know  
JADE: being isolated for so long really gives you time to think  
JADE: to reflect i guess  
JADE: ...  
JADE: the one thing that always would float around my head  
JADE: when things got too quiet   
JADE: "am i really me?"   
JADE: there are a lot of moments where i dont know who i am  
JADE: being told i was special  
JADE: that what i was doing had a purpose   
JADE: a big grand scheme that was going to fix everything!  
JADE: i put up with everything you know?   
JADE: every single piece of shit that was slung at me  
JADE: i took with a smile because i thought to myself  
JADE: "ha! this is all going to work out in the end!"   


The Harley leans herself back against the cushions of the couch, wishing she could just sink into them and never come back out. From behind her round lenses, her bright green eyes flicker dimly as she stares off into the empty space of her room.   


JADE: i wish i could kill the past me  
JADE: or at the very least  
JADE: i wish i could grab past me by the shoulders  
JADE: "its okay to show your emotions!"  
JADE: "its okay to be upset by stuff that upsets you!"  
JADE: "you dont need to try and be strong all the time!"   
JADE: "its! normal! to! feel! things!!!"   


Her arms dart out as she mimes out the action of shaking someone by the shoulders. Jade's mind ran for a second, wondering just how different things would be if her 13 year old self ran up against what she currently was. The dog ears were cute, but the emotional emptiness sort of countered that out in the long run.   


JADE: if the universe is just fucking with me it could be doing it better  
JADE: it could be a little bit more creative here  
JADE: being alone and then... more alone! wow!  
JADE: what a big fucking surprise!!  
JADE: "oh heres some isolation, sprinkled in with a little bit of feeling not good enough and just a dash of not even being fully human hoo hoo hoo"   
JADE: ...  
JADE: that was mean, im sorry nanna   


But Nannasprite was not there. No one was there. Jade Harley sat alone on her couch. Talking to a television set that wasn't even on. Her arms fall back to her sides weakly, like a puppet without strings as she continued to force herself into the couch, absolutely determined to sink herself in between the cushions and float off to a happier timeline.  


Her 13 year old self would be so disappointed in her. And the thought of that stung so deeply into the girl's heart she thought she was about to cry. Slowly her legs unbundle themselves from underneath her hips so she could pull them towards her chest. Jade hugged herself tight. Maybe that's why Davesprite had left. She never got the chance to figure out the optimal pressure for an embrace.   


JADE: i miss the island  
JADE: i miss bec  
JADE: i miss my old room and my squiddles and humanimals   
JADE: i miss my bass   
JADE: i miss my greenhouse  
JADE: it stinks, it really does  
JADE: so many fucking years of sitting around thinking that i was never going to miss them  
JADE: that as soon as i got to see my friends it was all going to be in the past  
JADE: "oh when i get to see john and rose and dave that place is going to be old news!"   
JADE: haha! well i guess the joke was no no its not!  
JADE: and now all i want to do is go back!   


Her body jolts upright and in a sudden burst of energy Jade leaps from the couch. Her feet slam into the golden floor beneath as her voice cracks, her hands ball into fists and she howls out in pain before collapsing onto the floor. No longer could she just hope for the sudden embrace of her narcolepsy to pull her away from this reality. To propel her into a world that wasn't... this.   


JADE: youre selfish jade...  
JADE: youre selfish and stupid...  


Jade Harley is alone.   


She is alone and crying herself to sleep on the middle of the floor.   


Only this time, there would be no dreams. No fanciful flights over serene landscapes that as a child had seemed to be so impossibly beautiful. Just the cold metal of the floor beneath her and the groaning sobs that came from her trembling lips and eventually even those fell silent as she drifted off.   


Maybe tomorrow would bring something better.   



	2. In which Jade cries out. And receives an awkward embrace from someone she truly does not know (Year 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade needs an outlet. She needs support. She needs her friends. But the universe will not give them to her.

Jade cries and cries. She had been born alone, she had been raised alone. And even when the timeline itself was busy retconning its way to a semi-coherent ending, she was still alone. Still abandoned.   


Still isolated from her friends and anyone she could truly recognize. No matter how many days she woke to the coldly familiar embrace of the Golden Ship the feeling of being completely alone still rang true.   


The girl was hunched over on the floor. Her hands balled tightly into fists, so tightly that her nails were threatening to sink through the skin of her palm and spill blood right onto that glistening golden floor. Jade pounded at it, the reflection of a girl she could barely believe was her. Her hands trying desperately to claw away at this imposter who had stolen her face, stolen her happiness.   


JADE: its not fair!  
JADE: its not fair!  
JADE: we went through so much!  
JADE: we all lost so much!!  
JADE: why cant i see my friends?!  
JADE: why cant i be happy?!  
JADE: why does it have to hurt so badly?!!   


Her voice was hoarse as she continued her assault, slapping and punching away at the flooring until her knuckles bled and her hands trembled, not just from sorrow but from the pain. She could hear it. Over her sobbing cries, she could hear it.  
  
The humming. From all the way down the other end of the ship. In one of its many galleys Nannasprite was busy, baking away, as if nothing was wrong. As if nothing had changed when Davesprite and John had fled.   


What more was there for Jade to do? She rocked herself back and forward, her body convulsing as she listened on and on to that incessant humming that reverberated through those pale white ears that adorned her head.   


Shakily the Harley climbed to her feet and stormed forward, all but breaking into a sprint as she ran through hallway after hallway of empty rooms until finally came face to face with the glimmer bright blue spectre that carried some smidgen of her DNA.   


JADE: would you just shut up!?  
JADE: no one wants any of these things!   
JADE: im the only one here and i dont fucking want any more cookies!  
JADE: john is never coming back and even if he was...  
JADE: he wouldnt fucking want anymore baked goods!!!  


The sprite smiled, her wrinkled lips curling upwards as she held onto a freshly baked batch of what seemed to be chocolate chip cookies. Slowly and carefully, with all the poise Jade assumed the woman had in her lifetime the tray was pushed aside onto the countertop, joining the rest of the trays the sprite had seemingly been working on. My god that was a lot of cookies.   


NANNASPRITE: Now who in the world said I was making these for you?   
NANNASPRITE: Because if you manage to sniff out the scoundrel I'll give them an earful!   
NANNASPRITE: I'm making these for myself deary.   
NANNASPRITE: Keeps me busy while we wait for what comes next.  


That smile. The Harley's eyes narrowed in on it, how could anyone be smiling? How could anyone be smiling after going through all of this. The gall of her, to mock her pain to mock her...  


What was this? It was a hand, stretched out to gently take Jade's into their own. The clicking of the tongue instantly filled Jade's heart with a deep mixture of shame and embarrassment as Nannasprite stared over the red and raw knuckles, taking extra care not to brush her cold, ghost like thumb over them.   


NANNASPRITE: Now you've gone and done something very silly here missy!   
JADE: i... uh...  
NANNASPRITE: Silly that you didn't come to me before doing this!   
NANNASPRITE: You might be a god but you're still family, you hear?  
NANNASPRITE: And you should know that you need to come to me before doing something like this to yourself.   


The anger in Jade's heart was gone. Washed away as her ears fell slack against her forward in shame as she stared down at the floor, not even bearing to meet the other face to face as she bit down onto her bottom lip. But Nannasprite did not let go, she merely held onto Jade's hand. Squeezing it as tightly as she could while making sure not to touch anything too fresh.   


JADE: thanks... um  
JADE: look im sorry for shouting at you like that  
JADE: i was ju-  
NANNASPRITE: Lonely? Angry? Upset? Perhaps even all three at once?   


Jade nods. This kind of semi-parental support was something completely foreign to her. As much as Bec had done for her during her time on the island it's not as if he could do something like this. Not unless she was playing "Shake" with him. And even then that required a healthy handful of Snausages to help coax him on.   


NANNASPRITE: I think you should try something like this dear.  
NANNASPRITE: Doing something for yourself.   
NANNASPRITE: After all, at the end of the day, you can only be yourself hoo hoo hoo!   
NANNASPRITE: You should start trying to give yourself the same compassion you gave to John.   


And with that, she was embraced. A hug. A true hug from someone who wasn't herself or a pile of pillows. Jade almost collapsed but luckily Nannasprite was stronger than she looked and held the Harley up, giving her a supportive hug and even a GRANDMOTHERLY pat on the back.   


NANNASPRITE: Next time, I'll bake a batch without chocolate for you.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We did not learn enough from this mission to justify the death of the dog."


	3. In which Jade doubts her future (Year 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A large metal coffin floating into the unknown. And a frightened lost being who knows not what she is doing or why she is there. All she can do is hope.

JADE: you know i always believed that if i just kept smiling  
JADE: just kept on taking everything like it was going to be okay  
JADE: that maybe just maybe things would be?   
JADE: if i kept on pretending and lying to myself that the lie could maybe someday become the truth  
JADE: but every single day on this ship it feels harder and harder to believe that   


JADE: its shitty of me to be this selfish  
JADE: i know for a fact that /everyone/ i care about is dealing with shit  
JADE: its stupid of me to sit around on a cushy couch and watch movies and pretend like im suffering  
JADE: but then what else can i call this?   
JADE: nothing has changed   
JADE: im still alone, im still scared  
JADE: im still lying to myself   
JADE: because i truly dont know if things are going to be okay  


JADE: i wish john was here  
JADE: he would say something stupid or quote a dumb action movie hero and give me a high five  
JADE: fuck i even wish davesprite was here  
JADE: even if all he could do is mope about "oh i'm sure when you meet the real dave he's going to take care of you"  


JADE: even if its a lie  
JADE: i would really like someone to just tell me things are going to be fine  


Her voice was weak. A tiny, awkward, desperate echo that ran through the empty golden halls that surrounded her. Every single day that passed the ship seemed less and less like a vessel to transport her to a new life and more like a coffin. A tomb. Full of memories and hopes long forgotten. Bedrooms unused, a large couch that was far too big for one person and piles upon piles of cakes and sweets that just one girl could not truly have to herself.   


As Jade lay on the floor she thought back to the island. Back then she could have the familiar sound of the ocean waves rocking up by the shore, the calls of migrating birds followed by Bec's commanding bark as he chased them through the fields. Even the sound of the wind passing over the course rock formation of that volcano that still dotted her dreamscape could bring peace to a sad and lonely girl.   


But here she was. In the infinite void of space. A place where sound couldn't escape or travel. And yet she continued to cry out, to beg, to scream, to weep. There is no need to wear a mask when there is no one there for you to perform to. And the more and more Jade thought about it, it cut deeper and deeper into her already fragile heart. She had worn the mask for so many years, could she even recognise her own true face?   


What if this was her true face? A depressing and isolated young women who clung to pillows and cried her eyes out. Would there even be a chance for a proper reunion? Could her friends accept her for who she is and not who she pretended to be for so many years? The Harley's hands reached up to slap over her ears, clamping them down to her head as if she was trying to shut out the voice in her head as she rolled onto her side.   


JADE: no no no!  
JADE: shut up shut up shut up!!!  
JADE: things will be fine! john is going to fix this shit and we are all going to get together and hug this out and then we can be friends forever!   
JADE: we can all go on picnics and watch the sunset together and i can take dave hiking and i can show rose my garden  
JADE: a-and we can all have that sleepover i always wanted!  


Jade's lips trembled and curled into a broken smile as tears began to roll down her cheeks and as she let out a pained hiccup. From her position on the floor her legs slowly pulled themselves up towards her chest so her arms could loop around them and she could hug herself. Another night spent on the floor crying and dreaming of better.   


JADE: theyre my friends  
JADE: theyre all my best friends  
JADE: im doing this for them  
JADE: they have to love me...   


How many more days would this last? How many weeks would melt into months for Jade to find comfort in the arms of another? The arms of someone she surely has given everything for? She did not know. And those who did cannot tell her.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Dr. Vladimir Yazdovsky wrote, "Laika was quiet and charming ... I wanted to do something nice for her: She had so little time left to live."


End file.
